Emily Grace

I love you so much,
I can't wait for your touch.
I can feel you move inside,
but there's something to hide.
I have faith, but need a sign,
Tell me somehow, you'll be fine.
You're special, that's for sure,
but I hate to think of what you might endure.
They say time will tell it all
and this one isn't my call.
I wish I could take it away,
but with this, I don't have a say.
So, I pray to God each and every day,
That you will be in our lives to stay...

Fear

Hold me close and near,
For I am full of fear,
I am trying to be strong,
But I don't know for how long,
Right now she's safe inside me,
But when she's born, what will be,
What will they say,
What all can happen in a day,
These thoughts overwhelm me,
When what will be will be...

Me and You

Something inside me wants to say,
I am grateful for every second of every day.
I look at you and see,
How precious life can be.
You make me strong when I think I'm weak,
When I get scared and it's hard to speak.
I hold you close and near
And you release my every fear.
People ask "How?" again and again.
I guess I'll let them in.
This is hard, we all know.
But I'm not about to let you go.
You have a lot of battles to fight,
But I'll be by your side day and night.
I'll be there for you to lean upon,
If you ever feel you can't go on.
Remember I'm here for you and together
we can make it through.
Don't give up, that's all you have to do.
God has a plan for us all.
If you turn to him, you won't fall.
I have faith and pray too,
That God's plan includes me keeping you.

You're Gone

My precious little Emily Grace
has gone away to a better place.
I don't know why God took her from me,
Maybe when my time comes, I'll see.
I miss her smile, I miss her touch,
I miss the way she smelled, oh, so much.
I'll see her again one day,
then we'll have time to play.
I know she had to go,
But why I don't know.
She tried and fought so long,
I prayed the statistics would be wrong.
It was hard to watch her slip away,
I wanted so much for her to stay.
Now she doesn't struggle to breathe,
I understand that she had to leave.
There was something wrong from the start,
And now I'll hold her in my heart....

Questions To Emily

Why is there so much pain?
Is there really something to gain?
Why did you have to leave?
Will your spirit visit if I believe?
Why did you have to go away?
Why couldn’t you be with me and stay?
In heaven do you miss?
Will you feel it if I send a kiss?
Why did you have to die?
Will there be a day I won’t cry?
Will there be days without fears?
Can you see what you left behind?
Do you really come to me or is just in my mind?
Is it my fault you died?
Was it my fault you cried?
Did I love you enough?
Was I ever too tough?
Did I do what was right?
Why did you lose your fight?
Did you enjoy your life?
Was it worth the sacrifice?
How do I go on without you?
What do I do?
Did I ever make you mad?
Were you ever sad?
Are you taken good care of?
Are you surrounded by love?
Do you have fun and play?
Do you know I miss you every day?
Do you hear what I say?
Do you hear me when I pray?
Do you remember me?
Was this meant to be?
Will you always be seven weeks old?
When I go to heaven, will you be a baby for me to hold?
Will I know you when I see you?
Will you know me too?
Why was your body not right?
Did you find peace when you saw the light?
Did God take you by the hand?
Did you make it safely to the promised land?
Did you look back?
Did you wish you could stay?
Or did you want to let your sick body lay?
Did I do my best?
Are you at peace in your rest?
Were you ever in pain?
Does God really smell like rain?

Thinking of You

There's a hole in my heart
a very empty, sad part
I yearn for your touch
and miss you so much
I think of you so often and cry
I don't understand why you had to die
I look at your pictures and see
all that you didn't have a chance to be
I wish I could hold you just one more day
There is a million things I want to say
I wish there was something I could do
to show you how much I love you
Why you? Why me?
Why did this have to be?

Feelings I can’t escape
Sometimes I want to cry,
Sometimes I want to die,
I want to yell and scream, run and hide,
Anything to escape the pain I feel inside,
I want to just hold you for a while,
Forget the pain and grief, forget the medical file,
Forget the things that say you are dead,
And just kiss and smell your sweet little head,
Your sister asks why you can’t come home and stay,
She doesn’t understand why you went away,
We all know we want you back,
But that’s a power that we lack,
You brought us so much joy to our lives,
But then you had to leave,
In tears and pain so deep, we were left here to grieve,
I asked the “what if’s” and the “why’s”, I questioned them all,
But the only answer I have is you went to God’s call,
I feel so helpless and so weak,
Sometimes, I cry so hard that I can’t speak,
Praying for a life that I couldn’t keep,
So many times, I just want to sleep,
At least then I might see you,
When there’s nothing else that I can do……

For Me
If you go before I do
And see the beauty of heaven so true
Would you do a favor for me
I have a message for Emily
First of all, hold her tight
And never let her out of sight
There’s so much I want to say
Please tell her I think of her everyday
Tell her how I love her so
And miss her more than she’ll ever know
Tell her how I look up in the sky
And remember that day in July
When we had to say good-bye
And she learned how to fly
Tell her not to be sad
That my tears aren’t bad
Tell her the tears help release the pain
And actually help to keep me sane
Tell her that she’s not forgotten
And I hope that she is still spoiled rotten
Tell her that she lives on within my heart
During this time that we are apart
Tell her how I treasure the time she was here
And how I hold those memories so dear
Tell her how she taught me so much
And how I long for her touch
Tell her to come visit me
And in my dreams, it’s her I want to see
Tell her I’ll be there as soon as I can
When it’s my turn in God’s big plan…

Let You Know
You may not see tears rolling down my face,
But I still miss her little embrace,
You may see me smile or laugh or play,
But don’t think the pain has gone away,
You may think “I’m doing better” or
“It looks like I’m doing well”,
If only you could see inside,
That’s not the story my heart would tell,
The pain doesn’t just go away,
Go ahead and mention her name today,
I just want to make it clear,
So that you will not fear,
I like to talk of the life Emily had,
And, yes, sometimes I’ll show I’m sad,
But I just thought that you should know,
It helps to let the tears flow,
Now that you know how I feel,
You can help me to heal,
But don’t expect the pain to disappear,
It’ll take a lifetime and I need you here….

A poem I made from Alyssa's view

I lay down my sleepy head,
After my prayers are said,
I think of what I did today,
And wonder what tomorrow will bring my way,
Then I think of Emily Grace
and remember how I use to kiss her face,
I have the best guardian angel, you see,
she's always watching over me,
A very special angel kisses me goodnight.
She is my baby sister who went to the light...

One More

You would be six months old today,
But it seems I didn't get my way.
On Christmas Eve, instead of holding you tight
It'll be five months since you seen the light.
I miss you more than you'll ever know.
How I wish I could've watched you grow.
I wish I could hold you for just one more day,
But then, of course, I'd never want you to go away.
One more hug, one more smile, one more look of amazement in your eye.
So, I'm not just left here to remember and cry.
If I could have one wish come true,
I'd wish that I could hold you.
Never forget the time we spent together,
Until the day that I'm with you forever....
December 4, 2001

Holidays

The holidays are here
But I'm not of good cheer
I miss my baby so
She's spending her first Christmas in Heaven, you know
A new year is on it's way
But I'm just trying to make it through a day
I can't give her presents or hold her real tight
Because months ago, we lost her and she's with Jesus tonight
"What do I want for Christmas?", you say
I want to hold Emily for one more day......

Christmas Message From Emily
Christmas Day is here
Please don't shed a tear
I know you think we're far apart
And nothing can heal your broken heart
I wish I could make you see
Why this had to be
It's not your fault, you did nothing wrong
You even sang me my favorite song
You miss me and love me so much
I wish you could feel my touch
I am there with you when you miss me so
I know how hard it must be to let me go
When you cry so hard it makes you weak
I wipe the tears from your cheek
I know you don't understand
But I am there to hold your hand
I will help you along the way
Till we're together again one day...

A Song For Emily
A lock of your hair, an imprint of your hand,
Are left here to help me understand,
A life so precious and so short,
A life that we could not abort,
Came and brought a brand new start,
With an extra special fragile heart,
You brought us joy and made us face our fears,
It ended with so many tears,

And you’ll live on within my heart,
In your very own special part,
A place that only you can fill,
A piece of you that’s with me still…

So, how do I show you how much you’re loved,
When you’re in heaven far above,
How do I live my life day to day,
With a pain that never goes away,
How many tears will I cry,
Because we had to say good-bye…

And you’ll live on within my heart,
In your very own special part,
A place that only you can fill,
A piece of you that’s with me still…

My life has changed, I’ve learned so much,
But everyday I miss your touch,
Life goes on, this I know,
And I’ll never get to watch you grow,
The journey of your life was brief,
But left me with eternal grief,
I’ll always remember, I won’t forget,
For the life you had, we were blessed…

And you’ll live on within my heart,
In your very own special part,
A place that only you can fill,
A piece of you that’s with me still…

Mother's Day

Dear Mommy,

I'm here with you today
There's so much I want to say

I know this day is hard for you
This day is hard for me too

Most Children get to be with their mothers
Hug her and tell her how much they love her

As for me, I just want you to know
You're still my mom and I love you so

Though you may not know I'm there
I come to see you and try to show I care

I hear your voice call my name
I know you'll never be the same

But will you do a favor for me
I love to see you smile, you see

Could you smile, laugh, love and play
And have a Happy Mothers Day...

A Birthday Wish

Happy 1st Birthday Emily Grace
We wish we could see your beautiful face
We wish you were here today
We would laugh, play and sing Happy Birthday
Tearing the wrapping paper off your toys
playing with all the girls and boys
Just learning to walk, we'd see
But all these things aren't meant to be
You're spending your birthday in heaven above
So, all we can do is send our love
Release some balloons, take flowers to your grave
To celebrate your birth and the life they couldn't save
Try and try as they may
You're not with us today
We hope heaven throws a party so grand
And helps us all to understand
Today as we recall your birth, we smile
And be happy you were with us for a while
A life short-lived, gone too soon
We sing "Happy Birthday" as we send a balloon
We send it up and far away
In hopes it reaches you today
For with it we send a wish with love
Have a Happy Birthday In Heaven Above...

Until We Meet Again

Good-byes seem so final
and this is not the end.
With our deepest love,
these messages we send.
Please know these words are spoken
With hearts that have been shattered and broken
But still full of love
For Heaven up above
Our lives are changed forever
To change what we had,,,never
There's no doubt, we are in pain
And probably a little insane
But one day we will see
Why all this had to be
Then we'll hold you and never let go
But until we meet again please know
You are in our hearts to stay
And in our thoughts, night and day...

One Year

It's been a year since I left your side
All the pain and tears I cannot hide
Your time here short and bittersweet
The fight you just couldn't beat
The way you smiled, the way you smelled
The way I felt like I had failed
Arms that ache, a heart that breaks
All the strength and courage it takes
Tears that stream down my face
The emptiness that was your embrace
The time that went so very fast
Left memories that will always last
What I wouldn't give to feel your touch
To have back those times I miss so much
To see you hold your little brother
To have a chance to be your mother
To hear you laugh, to watch you grow
All these things I'll never know
It's been a year since you said good-bye
You earned your wings and learned to fly
My darling daughter, your memory
will never die...

Second Year

Christmas time is here
And this is my second year
My family thinks of me
As they put presents under the tree
There's presents for Alyssa and Garrett too
But they are still feeling blue
While things are so quite on Christmas Eve
They are wondering why I had to leave
So as this time grows near
I'll see more than a single tear
But that's okay, I know
Cause it helps let some of the pain go
They think of the time I was there
And how they promised me the biggest bear
I wish I had a way to say
I'll be there on Christmas day
They may not see me with their eyes
I'll come in my own disguise
I come there in many ways
On, oh, so many days
I watch over them all
And will till they hear God's call...

National Candle Lighting Ceremony Poem

As I light this candle of mine
I close my eyes and remember the time
You were here, as I shed a tear
And only wish that you were near
So for you, this candle I light
May your memory shine bright tonight...

Life

A smile on her face
Her name is Emily Grace
The sound of her cry
But Mama's close by
She sleeps on my chest
This is the best
Fear I hide
Now, I'm terrified
Feet turn blue
Then hands too
Something isn't right
Went to the ER that night
It's out of my hands
I don't understand
Surgery is done
After the rising sun
Complications arise
Everyone cries
How can this be
She needs me
She is gone
By the morning dawn
Hearts are shattered
Her life mattered
She's laid to rest
They tried their best
Time goes by
I won't lie
The pain is here
You'll see a tear
We love her still
Always will....

 My Little Girl

In my minds eye I see what this day should be

Thoughts of you everyday the feeling is there but no words to say

The little girl that should be here now, glimpses of you here and there,

You know, I can see you everywhere

What I wouldn't give, every possession I own,

What I wouldn't do, lay down my life for

the little girl I see running, playing, smiling back at me

Was it real or just a dream, you dancing by my side, still holding on to the life you left behind

In my heart, I know you're here as a smile wipes away the tear

to say "I know you want me here in another way"

You're still with me but so it seems we're a million miles apart, a memory away pulls strings at my heart

The pain has become a friend, a constant on which I can depend

I'd do it all over to have you in my life again, Laying awake in the dark, visions of playing in the park,

Remember the times we had, precious moments I hold dear as the winds softly whisper

"You'll always be there..."

Lesson Learned

Don't let life pass you by
We watched our baby die
Then we had a baby boy
He brings so much joy
Replace her, he did not
Mixed emotions I fought
He reminds me of what she'll never do
Though I'm happy, I start to feel blue
I now see
What has to be
I'm so happy to watch him grow
Don't want to miss a thing, I know
Learned the worst way
To take advantage of the day.....

Emily's 2cd Birthday

Forget Me Not, cause I was here
Wipe away that misty tear
On this day that I was born
Emotions were torn
Happy to finally hold me
Fear of what would be
My heart wasn't right
But my life brought light
There's happy memories left for you
Know I'm thinking of you too
Though you can't see me today
I'll be there in my own way
Don't think of me as gone
I'm as constant as the dawn
Every day the sun will rise
As my memory never dies...
Happy Birthday Emily!

I miss you more than I could possibly say

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